Culture Shock

One thing I learned right away after Kieran's HLHS diagnosis was that support can often come from the most unexpected sources. And in some cases, the people you expected to be there for you were entirely absent. Isn't that true when one travels too? It says a lot about humanity when someone you just met offers you hospitality or shows you special kindness, or when strangers come to your aid in a pinch. And it's equally shocking when those you might turn to for aid (paid security guards, cops) turn out to be corrupt or cowardly.

On a bit of a different topic, I was thinking today about culture shock. One of the difficulties in navigating a new culture successfully is striking a balance between adjusting your appearance and habits, but keeping your identity intact. This was a more dramatic balancing act when I lived in Nepal than in Mongolia, as Nepal had more expectations for female dress and behavior. Lately, I've been thinking that a large part of my current dilemma is that I've tried to change my identity too much along the HLHS journey. Not only did I become a "stay at home" mom (which I've been enjoying and don't regret), which was a huge adjustment in itself, but I've tried to change myself from the woman who's always on the go, who loves to go out and be out in the world, to this much more isolated person who feels so much more limited--not only in the general parenthood way, but by the concerns of Kieran's heart condition as well. Refridgerated medications and cold & flu season in WI put a damper on movement (and social activity), for example.

So, we're now trying to live our lives again, because we need to break the unsustainable isolation/limitation trend. But it is hard--for one, when we take Kieran out and people cough and sneeze all around us, I reflexively cringe. But beyond that, I suddenly feel all this disapproval from my family and a few other interested parties re: daycare or moving to a different city. I am feeling a lot of confusion and opposition right now regarding what Shawn and I think is for the overall, long-term good of our little family.

Sigh. Talk about cultural differences...I think it's safe to say that I've always found people in my native land to be so afraid of change and so willing to believe that other places can't possibly be any better than here.

Anyway, the obscure point of this culture shock post is that I'm not being who I am. Who any of us are. And that is becoming a big problem.